Satan's Trifle

Oh yes. The many folks on twitter and various blogs have been BEGGING me to post the how to for to make it.

Satan's Trifle.

Firstly, let me give full acknowledgment for the name to one of my twitter followers, Michelle Rodriguez.

Nextly, to my wonderful Wifey-Poo for coming up with the idea.

And finally, thanks to all of you for letting me string you along for a week as you wonder about this wonderful dessert.

Does anyone like chocolate? Does anyone like cherries? Does anyone like Baileys? If you answered, "Hell yeah!" to all of those queries then you'll love this trifle.

Wife and I came up with this as we were perusing the pantry trying to find trifle fixin's. We saw that if we made it all chocolate then we'd have everything 'cept the chocolate sponge roll. Poof! Idea was born!

Please note, I used Father O'Leary's instead of Baileys as O'Leary's is better. And Australian. So there.

And a last note, if you don't feel confident making your own chocolate custard (it is easy, trust me) then you can use a choc custard or choc pudding mix but you've got to make it THICK. Very thick.

Last note... I never measure for this type of dessert, but I did measure for the custard. You're welcome. For those of you who normally make your own custard, the amounts will seem "off". That's ok, it's is supposed to be very thick and set like chocolate concrete.

On with the show, cus the show must go on.

Satan's Trifle

What you need:
One chocolate sponge cake roll (see pictures)
Father O'Leary's Velvet Cream --or Baileys
Cornflour --cornstarch to you North Americans
Large bar of dark cooking chocolate
Skim milk powder --I usually use full cream milk powder
200 grams of pitted, halved, fresh cherries
milk chocolate melts
raw sugar
thickened whipping cream
drinking chocolate OR 100% cocoa powder plus confectionery sugar

Now doesn't that just put POUNDS on your middle? Ohhhhhhhhh... Yeaaaaaaaaaah!

Here's the assembled goodies:




Lastly, you may want to use a trifle dish. You can't use mine as it's from the 1890's and is leaded crystal. It also has a big crack in it from MIL's mum. See, me granmum-in-law was kind of a dill in the kitchen and she had inherited this trifle dish from her mum. She thought cleaning it with boiling water after just serving up a cold trifle in it would be a good thing. Sigh.

But if you can't get a trifle dish, then use a large plate and make SURE the chocolate custard is very thick. Like mortar consistency thick.

What you do:

This particular "what you do" will be picture orientated as I know you all likes piccies. Food piccies, of course.

The first thing is to slice the chocolate sponge roll into one inch thick slices. Thusly,

Yes, that is a 50 year old Pierre Santini bread knife, thankyouverymuch.



At this point you want to lay the slices out flat on a plate...

and put them in a very warm place to dry out for an hour or two. Being in Oz, that means I just put em outside in the sun for a few minutes.

The reason you want the slices to dry out is so that when you saturate the slices with O'Leary's it (being the Baileys) doesn't cause the chocolate sponge cake to go mushy. If you aren't sure what I'm talking about, just trust me and dry out the slices, 'k?

Whilst the slabs of chocolate sponge cake roll are drying, you'll want to make the chocolate custard. If you choose to use packet mixes of chocolate pudding or chocolate custard, then you are excused from looking at the next few pics. Just make sure you make your custard THICK!

Now, let's assemble the stuff for the chocolate custard. That'd be raw sugar, cornflour (cornstarch), milk powder, thickened whipping cream, and dark cooking chocolate.

And a thick bottomed steel saucepan.

First, melt 100 grams dark cooking chocolate. You can use a double boiler, but I usually use a microwave on low.




To make the really thick chocolate custard do this:
to 1 and 3/4 cup water (H2O), mix in
8 tbsp cornflour (cornstarch)
5 tbsp raw sugar
7 tbsp skim milk powder (or full cream, your choice)

Whisk it all together THOROUGHLY!

Heat it in your thick bottomed saucepan whilst whisking the whole time. It will, not surprisingly, thicken up till the whisk stands up!




Once it starts to really thicken, you obviously want to take it off the heat and let the heat from the pan base do the rest. At this point, it'll be close to concrete like consistency and you'll have thought you ruined it. No, you didn't.

Now, to that pan add 1/2 cup thickened whipping cream plus 2 tbsp icing sugar and beat like crazy! I recommend an electric beater.



Then add the melted chocolate as the electric beaters do their thing!




You should (fingers crossed) end up with a chocolately custard of a consistency like thus:




It really does only take ten minutes to make the custard, and no fridge setting time either. I much prefer this to using the pre-made powder packets.

Getting back to the trifle.

Spread your semi-dried slabs of chocolate sponge roll onto your trifle dish. Feel free to cut some of them in half so they all fit nicely into the dish:




Didja notice that bottle next to the dish? Of course you did. Next pour at least 1 cup of Baileys or O'Leary's over the slices.

You'll be quite happy you dried the slices, otherwise the liquid would turn the whole thing into mush at this point. And you don't want that!

Remember those chocolate melts and the cherries?




First, fill all the gaps betwixt the chocolate cake slices with chocolate melts. Then layer a few on top just for the heck of it!




Your delicious, fresh, pitted, sliced cherries go on next:




Now it's time to start packin' that chocolate custard on!




As you are packing on the custard, you want to make sure it gets into all the gaps. Cus when you put this baby into the fridge to set, you'll have chocolate mortar betwixt the chocolate cake bricks!

Smooth all the custard out till it looks all purdy like.



Now it's time to make the chocolate whipped cream. If you are using "drinking chocolate" then add a 4 tbsp to 300 mls (that's one cup plus a bit) cream. Then beat with your electric beaters till "stiff peaks form". If you are using cocoa powder and icing sugar, then use a tbsp or two of each, no worries.

Your chocolate whipped cream should now look thusly:




Not even sure if I need to tell you this next step, but go ahead and start slathering that chocolate cream over the chocolate custard which itself covers the cherries, chocolate melts, and chocolate cake.




Don't forget to clean up the edges for presentation purposes!



At this point, your Satan's Trifle should look something similar to this:




But we aren't done yet! Remember that other half of your bar of dark cooking chocolate? Good, you do. Go grab it and grab a cheese grater.




Ladies and Gentlemen... Start your grating!




And don't stop grating till you are out of chocolate and your Satan's Trifle looks like THIS!




Chill that baby in the fridge for a few hours, then ENJOY!

It took 4 of us 3 days to finish this. It is rather... rich.

Disclaimer: blog author is not responsible for pimples, heart palpitations, sugar highs, or anything else you can damned well think of. So there.

Whipped Anchovy Butter

Hey! Where are you going? This is good, trust me.

A while back when I was at a doctor's office waiting for mum-in-law to be finished with her appointment I was skimming a magazine. Can't remember which one it was, could've been Gourmet Traveller but I truly don't remember.

Anyways, one of the recipes I skimmed was butter with anchovies and bunch of other stuff like tuna lots of seasonings. Since I couldn't remember all the ingredients I figured I'd try making some when we got home but that'd I'd "keep it simple".

Fast Forward almost a YEAR!

Totally, completely, forgotten about. But then when I was checking the pantry I noticed we were getting low on anchovies and that reminded me about the recipe I skimmed a year previous.

Not remembering anything that went into it besides anchovy and butter I pretty much started from scratch. But I did get the idea from the magazine --whichever magazine it was!

Dave's Whipped Anchovy Butter

What you need:

2 to 3 tbsp butter
2 or 3 anchovy fillets (1 per tbsp of butter)
1 tbsp cream
1/4 tsp freshly cracked pepper
1 tbsp finely minced onion
1 food processor


What you do:

Firstly, assemble your ingredients. Note that I'm using a mini-food processor. If you make a lot of this at a time then a regular f-p will work but otherwise try to find a mini one. They're cheap.





Put everything EXCEPT the minced onion into the food-pro.





Process till it has a whipped look/consistency. Should take more than 30 seconds.





Mix in the minced onion, and then artfully arrange it for taking purdy pictures!







Use it just like you would regular butter, no worries.

Bacon Wrapped Bananas with Chocolate Sauce

And doesn't that just sound AWESOMELY delicious? I know it does "it" for me! Seriously, what dish can't be improved by adding bacon?

I got the idea for this from a yoga teacher in New Zealand who has a cool food blog called Couscous & Consciousness. In one of her posts she asked folks about what trio or trios of food combination go well together. One of the ones I mentioned was bacon wrapped chocolate that gets battered and deep-fried. She thought it sounded ok but suggested some with bananas to go along with the bacon and chocolate.

Hence, this beauty of a recipe was born!

I made it last night, we all loved it. And that includes BIL who has a very fussy palate. In fact, he licked the plate clean!

Dingo Dave's Original Bacon Wrapped Bananas with Chocolate sauce with thanks to Couscous & Consciousness for inspiration.

What you need:

For the bananas and bacon:
One banana per person
1 to 3 slices of bacon per banana depending on size of slice

For the chocolate sauce:
175 grams of dark chocolate --that's 6.141592654 or pi+3 ounces
2 heaping tbsp butter
1/3 cup cream
1/4 cup cream port (or regular port, or a sherry variety)
1/4 tsp cinnamon powder
1/8 tsp cayenne powder (I usually double or triple this, but that's for when it's just me)

What you do:

Put everything for the chocolate sauce in a small, thick-bottomed saucepan. Your saucepan should now look like this:




Put the saucepan on the lowest heat possible and stir or whisk it while it heats. Make sure nothing sticks to the bottom and that it's well mixed. This should only take a couple of minutes.

Turn the heat off and cover it.

Now to assemble the bacon and bananas. Ummmmmm, this is pretty simple, just wrap the bacon around the bananas. If you need to secure the bacon with toothpicks the go for it.




Then cook them till the bacon is done to your liking. Be gentle when turning them as you don't want to bananas to break apart.




Remove the toothpicks if you used them and liberally ladle the sauce on top!

Notice how I used one dark plate and one light plate so that the color balance in the photo is way off? Yeah, I did that on purpose. Maybe.

And the obligatory closeup:




Use a sharp knife and a fork for eating. Why a sharp knife? So that you don't mush down the banana as you cut a piece.

You'll have lots of leftover sauce, I'm sure you'll think of some use for it.

Oh, next time I'm going to roll the bananas in brown sugar before wrapping the bacon around them!

Easy chocolate sauce

Yes I know I've written quite a few posts that involve chocolate (food of the Gods) sauce, but I thought I'd sorta consolidate them. Maybe give some tips, tricks, what goes well in it, etc.

The basic chocolate sauce has just three things: dark chocolate, butter, and cream. The less cream and butter, the thicker the sauce will be and if you only use a tiny amount of each then it'll harden upon cooling --great for things like chocolate coated strawberries. Or pretty much ANYTHING you want to chocolate coat (^_^)!

And the best thing is that you DO NOT NEED A DOUBLE BOILER! And it's quick too. You will need a thick-bottomed saucepan though so if you don't have one then go run out to the shops right now and get one.

I'll start with the basic sauce, and then talk about the various additions you can, ummm, add.

The basic chocolate sauce (this makes A LOT):

What you need:
One bar (375 grams or 12 ounces) of dark cooking chocolate
3 tbsp butter
1 cup cream

This'll make a sauce that is liquid at room temp, but thicker than motor oil. If you want a thicker sauce, just use less cream and less butter.


What you do:

Break the chocolate bar into pieces and put them all into your saucepan. Add the butter and the cream. Turn on the heat to low. Give it a stir to mix things well. Once the chocolate starts to melt, then take out a whisk and start whisking it. Almost continuously, in fact.

Once all the chocolate is melted and everything is thoroughly incorporated together, turn the heat off and continue whisking for another 30 seconds or so. Make sure you get to the bottom of the saucepan during the whisking so nothing burns.

Ta-da! Done! The whole process should have taken 2 or 3 minutes.

Now comes the FUN part! What you can add and when you should add it.

Substitute half the cream with a dark red wine like shiraz. Add at the same time as the cream, of course.

1 tsp of cinnamon powder and a half tsp cayenne powder. Add while whisking. Taste it afterwards and add more of either if you wish, no worries.

Cumin powder and cardamom powder go well too!

If you want it slightly tart, add some ground sumac.

Hard to go past ginger powder too.

My point is, the possibilities for flavorings are endless. I can tell you for a fact that the cinnamon and cayenne combo is wonderful! I'm still experimenting with the others to find the best combos that suit my palette.

So have some fun and experiment! Heck, make a batch of standard sauce and then divvy it up into bowls and mix different spices into each. Just make sure you write down which spices went into which bowl. And be sure to let me know what combinations of spices you find that are really good!

Biggest Morning Tea

Each year, the Biology dept up at our local Flinders Uni hosts what they like to call "The Biggest Morning Tea". It only costs $4 to get in (that's just a couple of Aussie $2 coins). All the cooking is done on a volunteer basis.

My BIL works at the Paleo lab in the Bio dept so he's on their email list. Last week he received an urgent email asking for more cooking-type folks. So far only 4 people had volunteered, and none of them featured any savory dishes.

Mike (BIL) told them about my cooking prowess, and I got in email contact with the lady in charge. She is very thrilled with what I said I could make for them.

Here's the list of what I'll be making between now (monday arvo) and thurs morn:

Cheese and bacon muffins

soft pretzels w/ cheese sauce

mexican chocolate fondue

zucchini bread

cumin seed crackers

wholemeal chia seed bread w/sunflower and pumpkin seeds

morrocan seasoned pan bread w/ grana padana cheese

fresh homemade ricotta cheese (it's easier than you think) to go with the cumin crackers and whatever.


They are expecting 100 to 150 people... This will be challenging, especially as MIL has a couple of doctor appointments this week.

Wish me luck folks!

Oh, the proceeds from it go directly the Flinders Med Centre (right next to the U) for their cancer research.

Mussels in a Creamy Garlic Sauce

This turned out soooooo good a few nights ago that I just had to share it all of you. It's fairly simple and oh so tasty.


What you need:
1 kilo of scrubbed, de-bearded mussels in their shell --I used New Zealand green-lipped
1 small onion, fine chopped
2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tbsp butter
1 cup of white wine --I used chardonnay
1/2 cup (or so) of water
1/2 cup of cream

What you do:
Put the onion and butter in a wok or a wide frypan. Saute for a few mins and then add the garlic. Cook for a minute or two, while stirring regularly. Add the white wine and the water, bring it up to a simmer and then add the mussels. Put on the lid.

Once the mussels have opened, remove them from the sauce and continue to simmer till the sauce is reduced by half. While the sauce is reducing, remove the steamed mussels from their shells --obviously, discard any that didn't open.

Once the sauce is reduced, put the mussel meat and the cream into the sauce. Cook till it's hot (should only take a minute or two) and then serve it up! I served this over some jasmine rice, but there is a lot that can be done with this for serving so use your imagination.

Oh, keep the shells. They are great for serving seafood type hors-dourves (how the heck is that spelled?) on. And they also make great spoons if you are having a south-pacific style feast.

Quick and Easy Creamy Cheese Sauce

Have you ever needed to make a really quick cheese sauce to go on something? Then this is for you!

Cheap, easy, simple. I think anyone, and I mean anyone, can make this.

It all started the other day when I had to spin out 2 basa fillets to make a meal for 5 adults. I cubed the fish to about dice size, tossed them in some seasoned breadcrumbs (salt, white pepper, cumin) and then put the tray in the oven. They were to be served over a rice dish --something like a risotto but with way different seasonings.

As the rice was almost done and the fish ready to come out of the oven, I realised that this dish needed a sauce to drizzle over the top! I didn't panic, just took a quick look at what I had on hand so I could make a quick sauce, which would go well with the crumbed whitefish with rice, and decided upon a creamy cheese sauce.


Here's what you need:

1 cup cream
1 tsp crushed garlic
pinch of salt
pinch of ground black pepper
1/2 cup grated colby cheese
1 pinch of dried mint
1 pinch of dillweed


And here's what you do:

Toss everything EXCEPT the cheese into a small saucepan. Light a fire under it and heat till it simmers (DON'T LET IT BOIL OR BUBBLE, else there'll be trouble). Stir it a bit as it heats up. Once it's simmering, add the grated cheese, stir till the cheese is melted and then serve it up!

See? Couldn't be easier. This should also go well over poultry, any non-oily fish, pork or beef roast (drizzle over the slices of beef when you are serving). If you have other thoughts about what this would go well with, just lemme know in the comments.

Oh, if you make this with bleu cheese it'll work great, but the flavour is much stronger so the meat needs to be cooked differently --like fried pork chops with the sauce drizzled over.

Mysost Cheese

and the making thereof.

This is probably the simplest cheese you'll ever make. However, you'll need to have first made some other type of cheese as this is a whey cheese.

And a-whey we go!!!

Arrr, anchors a-whey matey!

Gee, I sound just like Geoffrey Rush. Cool. Did y'all know he's an Aussie? Well now you do. I'm sure I don't knead to mention that Errol Flynn was a Tassie. A true blue Tasmaniac, you betcha.

As I had previously mentioned, Mysost Cheese is a Skankelnavelian cheese (my spelling sux and my tiepoes are even worsered).

Alright, I'll be serious now. Maybe.

There's two different wheys (ways) to make Mysost and each method yields two very distinct cheeses. Trust me, I tried them both last week. Fortunately, you can use any type of whey for either method. Whether it's whey from a renneted cheese or from an acidic coagulation, it won't make a difference in the finished product.

BTW I'll be putting up a lot of simple cheese making posts, this one being the first. You'll learn how to make Quarg, Cream Cheese, Feta, Wensleydale, Mysost, Mascarpone and many others. I will not put up any cheese post unless it's something I've made so you can rest assured the procedure works.

Mysost

What you need:
A batch of whey from your latest cheesemaking endeavour
A saucepan
A source of heat (a stovetop works well, I prefer gas)
1/2 cup cream (for the second of the two types)


What you due:
Pour the whey into the saucepan. Place the saucepan on top of (not below) your heat source. Heat on low as you don't want it to boil over. Simmer for a few hours till the whey is thick (it'll be reduced by around 75% in volume). Oh and don't forget to keep a close eye on it for the last 30 mins cus you don't want it to burn to the bottom of the saucepan (voice of experience).

Let it cool a bit and then spoon it into a container.

Ta-da! Done!

This method will produce a slightly grainy, beige coloured cheese spread. It's very strong tasting so a little goes a long whey :) It is basically concentrated whey. The taste is kinda like a strong Welsh Rarebit with a hint of Danish Blue. Very good for spreading on crackers or toast --in small amounts, of course.

The other whey, or method if you prefer, yields an entirely different result. The taste and texture is very different.

Ummmmmm, it's the same method as above, but whisk in 1/2 to 1 cup of cream before you start to reduce the whey. I used 1 cup of cream for the amount of whey left after making Feta Cheese from 5 litres of milk.

A smooth, creamy, light-coloured cheese dip is what you'll end up with. And it's very good! Next time I'm going to add a pinch of turmeric (for a yellow colour) and a few pinches of chilli flakes to the whey and cream as it starts to simmer. I should end up with the ultimate nacho cheese sauce.

I guess I should tell you how to make some simple cheeses so you can have the whey (and means) to make mysost, so stay tuned for that.

And beer makin'

Chocolate Log Cabin Part 4

This is the Fourth and Final Fragmented Featurette of the saga of Dingo Dave's Chocolate Log Cabin, at the end of Year 4705.

I'm sure y'all will be looking forward to my next entry. Chilli Cherry Chutney!

But in the meantime, how's abouts we add some ice and snow to that thar cabin we wuz werkin' on last time. Remember though, if you've just stumbled into this blog and are totally lost, then read these: Cabin part 1, cabin part 2, and cabin part 3.


Ok: icycles!

You'll need about 1/2 pound of white milk chocolate. Melt it in the nuu-queue-lerr machine (microwave) as per instruction in part 2. And then (this is the important part) let it cool till you can juuuuust stir it. Otherwise the icycles won't form when you spoon it onto the over-hanging roof rafters.

See, this is what I mean:



And don't worry about any "ice" on the "ground" around the cabin, it just makes the snow taste good!




And make sure you get the back rafters too




It's now time to make it snow! This involved a litre and a half of heavy whipping cream, one cup (or so) of raw sugar, and then the heck beat out of it until it was very stiff! Here's a pic of the bowl in front of the cabin:




Then slather the snow over the roof using a flexible rubber spatula




Pile the leftover "snow" around the outside of the cabin




And don't forget to shovel out the front door!




Next time I'll use a lot more cream! I'll make a whole snowfield around the cabin, a woodpile, a chimney, a dog yard, and (of course) an outhouse. Stay tuned for that!

It was then time to eat this sucker! It took the four of us chocolate lovers 2 and a half days to polish it off. Mmmmmmmmmm...

Here's some pics of the carnage:
























Mmmmmmmmmmm... chocolate... mmmmmmmm...