Dingo Dave's Dangerously Hot Chili Sauce

Yes folks, I like chillis. I also spell chilli with two l's as that's how we spell it down here in Oz.

Have I mentioned I grow my own chillis? Well, I do grow them. I currently have 8 plants of an African Bird's Eye variety growing and I should have no problems keeping them through the winter (I haven't seen frost in Adelaide for 8 years now).

Normal Bird's Eye top out at around 200,000 scoville heat units (SHU) but I'm pretty sure these are in the 300,000 to 350,000 scu range. Why do I think that? Because I know how to properly grow chillis in pots so that you get maximum fruit and maximum amounts of capsaicin. And I've eaten a regular Habanero which tops out at 350,000 and these puppies are as hot as them.

Not as hot as the Red Savina Habanero and not near the famous Bhut Jolokia that tops out at over 1,000,000 SHU, but still pretty damned hot. BTW, I'll be getting some Bhut Jolokia seeds for next season... Wife thinks I'm crazy.

These chillis and this recipe is NOT for you if you think a Jalapeno is hot, my chillis are 70 times hotter.

These chillis and this recipe is NOT for you if you think Tabasco sauce is hot, my chillis are 70 times hotter than the original Tabasco sauce and 43 times hotter than their hottest sauce.

These chillis and this recipe is NOT for you if a Cayenne chilli is toxic to your taste buds, my chillis are 7 times hotter.

These chillis and this recipe is NOT for you if you a Thai chilli means instant death to your taste buds, my chillis are 3 and 1/2 times hotter.

For those of you with the guts (in every sense of the word) to read on, then please, by all means, READ ON!


Dingo Dave's Dangerously Hot Chili Sauce

I was going to wait to make this sauce till more of the chillis are completely red and half dried, but we had a big windstorm last night and two branches broke on one of the plants. Keep in mind that even in their green state these puppies are as hot as a Thai chilli.

What you need (besides a great love of chillis):

30 Habanero chillis --this is about the SHU equivalent of the variety of African Bird's Eye I grow
1/2 an onion, minced
5 cloves garlic, crushed and minced
1 tsp of each of the following powders: Cardamom, Ginger, Sumac, Coriander, Cumin
1 tbsp tamarind paste
1 tbsp wasabi paste (the really hot green paste you get with sushi)
1 tsp sea salt
2 tbsp olive oil

1 to 2 cups red wine (I used a shiraz-cabernet)
1 cup water (the wet type, not the dehydrated type)

1/2 cup apple cider vinegar


What you do:

Firstly, you need to snip the chilli fruit off your plants, or go to a shop and buy 30 Habaneros. If the wind broke some of your branches then it should go from this:


to this:




Please notice I left the "hats" on the chillis. Why? Because under the hat on chillis (eggplant too) is where the most tenderest, succulent part of the fruit is. That's also the area with lots of capsaicin in chilli fruit.



You'll notice I'm not wearing rubber gloves whilst handling the chillis. That is because I'm not a wuss. Although my wife thinks/knows it's cus I'm crazy.

Anyways, remove the hats from the chilli keeping as much fruit as possible:



And then rough chop them:




Now add all the ingredients EXCEPT the wine, water, vinegar to a saucepan. You'll notice I grouped those at the top of the ingredient list for your convenience; you're welcome. Make sure you add the seeds too!

Mix it well and then crank the heat up. Cook for around 5 mins while stirring often. The idea is to sear stuff without burning it. It should look something like this:


The above pic is after 2 mins. After 5 mins you'll notice some of the mix getting stuck to the pan. Once it starts to stick you should also notice the chillis, onion, and garlic are well-seared. Time to add the wine and the water!

So, add the wine and the water, stir well making sure you scrape the pot so everything is incorporated into the liquid. Simmer the pot till the liquid is reduced by at least 3/4 and then add the vinegar. Turn the heat off and let it cool.

Add the whole mix to a blender and blend for a few mins so that every little bit of chilli, onion, and garlic are pureed. Put the mix back in the pot and simmer to reduce the liquid by 1/4.

Your saucepan should now look like this:




TADA! Done! Now just pour it into a jar you've disinfected, cap it, and refridgerate. Use when needed. It ages quite well and gets smoother over a couple of weeks. No preservatives are needed, I seriously doubt anything has the temerity to grow in it.

Enjoy!

Oh, btw... chilli enthusiasts (snobs) are constantly debating the heat and taxonomy of various chillis so if you think that African Bird's Eye can't get as hot as a regular Habanero then I say you are mistaken. My opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

Cheese Making Tip

If you don't make cheese, you should start. It's much easier than you may have been led to believe, trust me.

Ok, cheesemaking tip: You can save yourself a lot of pasteurizing time by using milk powder. I use full cream milk powder and add a 1/4 to a 1/2 teaspoon of lipase powder to the milk (gives it a nice, fresher milk taste). I also double the amount of milk powder than usual. Why? Because that way you get *ahem* MORE curds, which is always nice.

I'll be back with recipes soon, just wanted to get this tip up while I was thinking about it.

This Food Blog Is NOT Abandoned!!!!

And I mean it, seriously!

It's just that I've been rather busy lately. Not only with keeping up around the house and grounds outside, but doing a lot of kitchen work.

Not only have been making cheeses but I've been experimenting with some new processes. I'll, uh, have to wait a few more weeks to find out how it well it works. But you WILL be the first to know!

Tofu making is a weekly --sometimes twice-weekly-- event now. Quick, cheap, and easy.

Bread and beer making too, of course. I've also been experimenting with chia seeds in various breads and curries. So far so good and I'll let you know all about that soon.

Jarring homegrown sundried tomatoes in olive oil happens daily --at least until the tomato plants call it a season. Harvested 1134 tomatoes so far this summer.

Jams from brambleberries and wild rose-hips is going well.

I've also been doing quite a bit of research. Health and nutrition mainly. I want to keep this blog as a "recipe only" type thingy so I've decided to launch a health blog. I'll keep you posted, no worries.

Aaaaaaaaannnnnnddddddd, here's todays recipe! This is more of a tip though.

Have you ever cooked a beef roast and had it come out dry or tough? Or perhaps you didn't have enough pan juices to make gravy? Bland tasting maybe?

I can help, really.

Place your beef roast in your roasting pan with the fat side UP. This way not only will the fat drip down through the roast to keep in tender, but you can also take the lid off the roasting pan for the last 20 or 30 mins to crispy-ize the fat if so desired.

Next, pour a half bottle of a strong red wine over the roast. Shiraz, merlot, cab-sauv, any of those will work nicely. Then grind a lot of black pepper over the top of the roast and rub the pepper in with your fingers. Lightly sprinkle with sea salt, put the lid on it, and then put it in the LOWEST oven temp you can get away with for 2 to 4 hours. The time depends upon the size and how well done you like your roast.

When you take it out of the oven for serving, pour all the pan juices into a saucepan for gravy making. The only thing you'll have to do for the gravy is boil the juices in the saucepan and add cornflour (called cornstarch in the US) --dissolved in cold water, of course-- while whisking. How much you add completely depends on how thick YOU like your gravy.

Gravy making should only take 2 minutes, max.

Thin (or thick, your choice) slice pieces off that roast and serve it up with the gravy! Loads of mashed spuds (potatoes), grilled corn on the cobb, and steamed veggies make great accompaniments to this. Serve with a glass of red wine and a glass of ale.

How To Make A Charlotte Russe

It's not that there's anything particularly difficult about making a charlotte russe, nor is it very expensive. It has more to do with the time --there's a lot of fridge time while parts of it "set", and the actual construction of it.

It's worth the time though. Drool...

All you need is a bit of jello mix, some whipping cream, custard powder mix, and a swiss roll (commonly called a jam sponge roll).

This is all you need:



The first thing you do is mix your jello according to the package instructions. And then let it cool. DO NOT LET IT COOL SO LONG THAT IT SETS!

Then line a really large glass bowl with cling wrap. It doesn't have to be pretty or neat:



Slice the swiss roll into 1 cm thick pieces:



and then line the bowl with the pieces.



Cut up the last two pieces to fill in the gaps:





Now you ladle your cooled but not set jello over the roll:



Make sure the sponge rolls are completely soaked in jello!




Now put it in the fridge overnight (or all day) to really set the jello.

Let's make the custard --it too goes in the fridge all day.

Add three times as much custard powder as the directions call for. Yes, it will be lumpy even after heating and stirring thoroughly. Remove from the heat and let it cool for 15 mins or so. It will look like you ruined the custard, don't worry.

Put the lumpy, ugly custard into a mixing bowl, pour in scant 1/2 cup of whipping cream and then beat the heck out of it with your electric mixer. See, all nice and purdy and really tasty now!

Put that bowl in the fridge overnight too.

The next morning...

The custard should be thick enough to paste to the inside of the jello-set spongecake:



Don't be afraid to use lots of custard!



Now put it back in the fridge for a few hours.

At around lunchtime open your can of peach slices and drain them really really really well.

Arrange them nicely in the custard thusly:



It's now time to whip the whipping cream! Once it's whipped so it's really thick then pile the whipped cream on!



Place a piece of cling wrap over the top, and set a large plate on top:



Turn it over so the plate is now on the bottom:



Put it in the fridge till dessert time. It's own weight will pack it down nicely after a few hours.

When you are ready to serve it, take it out of the fridge. Take the bowl off:



Remove the cling wrap too.



Get ready to slice and serve!



It holds together quite well:



Mmmmmmmmmmmm...



This piece is MINE! You can't have it so go make your own!



And don't forget to run an extra 20 miles the next day...

Cardamom Lamb Curry

I was planning on putting up a shortbread recipe today --it being the holiday season dontcha know-- but I've just found out that someone way up north is interested in a lamb curry. Specifically, a lamb curry that features cardamom.

Now, I don't have enough time to write a dissertation on cardamom (a spice I LOVE) cus it's already 4:30 pm and I've got a crew to cook for. And I also don't have enough time to completely list exact amounts of every single item. However, she won't mind cus she cooks this way too so I'm sure she'll figure it out --you will too, no worries.

I do have time to tell you that I make many many many different kinds of curries and that this particular one could maybe be classified as a massaman type curry (from Thailand, but this is waaaay different) but until 5 minutes ago I had never even heard that name.

Therefore I think I can safely claim this curry as one of my own.

Alrighty, clock is ticking and after this post I need to get cooking!

Here we... GO!



Dingo Dave's Cardamom Lamb Curry


What you need:

8 green cardamom pods
small palmfull crushed peanuts (put some shelled peanuts in the cupped palm of one hand and run the thumb from your other hand over it; tada! crushed nuts!)
1 crushed garlic clove
2 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp dried mint

2 tbsp tamarind paste
1 tsp cardamom powder
1 tsp cinnamom powder
1 tsp cumin powder
2 tsp coriander powder*
1 tsp turmeric powder
1 tsp ginger powder

2 lbs diced lamb --whether from chops, a roast, leg, etc. Doesn't matter.

2 or 3 tbsp olive oil

1/2 an onion, finely minced
1 tbsp lemon grass (just use the jarred kind), finely minced

1/2 glass lambrusco wine (it's what I had in my hand at the time)
1/2 glass dark ale (it's what I had in my other hand at the time)

1 can (400 mls --around 13 ounces) coconut cream

*coriander is called cilantro in North America. The powder is the dried, ground seeds of the plant; NOT the leaves.


What you do:

Put the first 5 ingredients (notice how I grouped the goodies so it's easy to see?) in a dry (no oil) wok. Fry for 3 minutes while tossing/stirring. Add the mixture to a mortar and go to town on it with your pestal! Don't worry about the shells of the pods, they'll get ground up and add to the flavour, trust me.

Mix the next 7 ingredients (tamarind paste through ginger powder) in a bowl. Add the diced lamb to the bowl and mix to coat the lamb pieces well.

Put the olive oil (traditionally you'd use ghee, but I use olive oil) in your wok and crank up the heat. After about 30 seconds it should be ready to add the coated lamb, the onion and the lemongrass. Cook and sear for about 2 minutes, tossing/stirring regularly.

Turn the heat down to low, add the wine and the beer. Stir to deglaze the wok. Add the cardamom spice mix from the mortar, stir it in. Let the liquid cook down by half --should only take 1 or 2 minutes. Add the coconut cream, stir everything together and simmer till the texture is to your liking. Just make sure you don't boil the coconut cream or else it'll separate.

Serve it over jasmine or basmati rice (I suggest you cook the rice). If it's too spicy for someone at the table just top their's with some plain yoghurt, no worries. Garnish with fresh basil leaves.

This is good stuff, really.

Quick and Easy Creamy Cheese Sauce

Have you ever needed to make a really quick cheese sauce to go on something? Then this is for you!

Cheap, easy, simple. I think anyone, and I mean anyone, can make this.

It all started the other day when I had to spin out 2 basa fillets to make a meal for 5 adults. I cubed the fish to about dice size, tossed them in some seasoned breadcrumbs (salt, white pepper, cumin) and then put the tray in the oven. They were to be served over a rice dish --something like a risotto but with way different seasonings.

As the rice was almost done and the fish ready to come out of the oven, I realised that this dish needed a sauce to drizzle over the top! I didn't panic, just took a quick look at what I had on hand so I could make a quick sauce, which would go well with the crumbed whitefish with rice, and decided upon a creamy cheese sauce.


Here's what you need:

1 cup cream
1 tsp crushed garlic
pinch of salt
pinch of ground black pepper
1/2 cup grated colby cheese
1 pinch of dried mint
1 pinch of dillweed


And here's what you do:

Toss everything EXCEPT the cheese into a small saucepan. Light a fire under it and heat till it simmers (DON'T LET IT BOIL OR BUBBLE, else there'll be trouble). Stir it a bit as it heats up. Once it's simmering, add the grated cheese, stir till the cheese is melted and then serve it up!

See? Couldn't be easier. This should also go well over poultry, any non-oily fish, pork or beef roast (drizzle over the slices of beef when you are serving). If you have other thoughts about what this would go well with, just lemme know in the comments.

Oh, if you make this with bleu cheese it'll work great, but the flavour is much stronger so the meat needs to be cooked differently --like fried pork chops with the sauce drizzled over.

Dave's 2009 Holiday Feast

Yes, this year I've been told to keep Dave's Annual Super-Awesome Holiday Feast down to a more, shall we say, reasonable level than in years' gone by.

So to help with that, I've started making tofu.

Yes, tofu.

Turns out it's very quick and easy to make! Very cheap too AND you get a big batch of okara leftover to make things like fake burgers, fake roasts, fake pork, fake roast chook... well, you get the idea.

And then there's all the neat things you can do with tofu! Marinate it, smoke it, grill it, stuff it, feed it to someone you don't like... See? There's so much you can do with just some plain soy beans and magnesium chloride!

In fact, I have decided that this years' feast will be meat free and all the meat dishes will be made with my own homemade tofu!





Bullshit.




But I have started making tofu. It will, however, of course, have practically NOTHING to do with any of the food this holiday season.

Many of you may be familiar with my previous menus, many of you may not. Just keep in mind that all but a few dishes on the menu are homemade. By me.

And the pots and pans are home cleaned. By me.

Yes, it's amazing what I go through, sigh...

Oh, if you want to learn how to make any of these, then just lemme know and hopefully one of these recipes will appear (like magic!) on this blog.

And don't worry, there'll be a funny pic of dave at the end of all this, so please read --NOTE: the funny pic of me appears at my other blog. And keep in mind that this is meant to be spaced out over 3 weeks. And it's in no particular order. And no food is wasted.


And.

Here.

We.

GO!

holiday feast 2009

stout beer n brats w onions

homemade pizzas

peanut butter cheesecake w/ hot fudge sauce --I've been told if I don't make this each year then I'd better sleep with one eye open.

3 sushi platters

homemade chocolates

homemade tofu, marinated, smoked, grilled, etc.

roast chook w/ all the fixins

baked pumpkin

roasted pumpkin seeds --from the above pumpkin

toasted chilli n garlic almonds & peanuts

pork roast wrapped in banana leaves and slow roasted with polynesian
seasonings.

highland oat cakes

apples n bleu cheese

various homemade cheeses

1 xmas fruitcake

1 xmas pudding

pineapple & maple syrup glazed ham

candied sweet potatoes

fried worms

cinnamon raisin bread

many loaves of white and wholemeal bread

grilled basa fillets

many servings of my extra special chips (thick fries)

advokaat cheesecake

1 bottle of advokaat for above cheesecake

lots of homebrews; stout, lager, dark ale, regular ale, chilli beer, etc.

garden greens salads

marinated fish & onion & cucumber salad

4 kilos of sausage --if we have a pool party

onions for above sausage

1 apricot cobbler

mexican buffet with all the fixin's

champagne n strawberries

green beans n red capsicums w/ bacon & peanut sauce

panforte --awesomely great xmas cake

souvlaki chicken w/ tabouli & tzatziki

devonshire cream tea

pineapple sherbet

pineapple topping

pineapple tarts

pineapple coconut pie

banana jam

charlotte rouse

O'Leary's Irish Cream

brandy

cask of red wine

cask of white wine

shortbread

hot fudge sauce

waldorf salad

herbed, baked spuds

hummus

whipped cream stuffed crepes w/ dark chocolate sauce


See? I've kept it simple this year! Harumph.